Speaking with the Angel by Nick Hornby

Author:Nick Hornby [Hornby, Nick]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780241959466
Publisher: Penguin Books Ltd
Published: 2011-06-28T04:00:00+00:00

After I Was Thrown in the River and Before I Drowned

DAVE EGGERS

Oh, I’m a fast dog. I’m fast-fast. It’s true and I love being fast I admit it I love it. You know fast dogs. Dogs that just run by and you say, ‘Damn! That’s a fast dog!’ Well, that’s me. A fast dog. Hoooooooo! I’m a fast fast dog. Hooooooooooooo! You should watch me sometime. Just watch how fast I go when I’m going my fastest, when I’ve really got to move for something, when I’m really on my way – man do I get going sometimes, weaving like a missile, weaving like a missile between trees and around bushes and then – pop! – I can go over a fence or a baby or a rock or anything because I’m a fast fast dog and I can jump like a fucking gazelle.

Hoooooooo! Man, oh man.

I love it, I love it. I run to feel the cool air cool through my fur. I run to feel the cold water come from my eyes. I run to feel my jaw slacken and my tongue come loose and flap from the side of my mouth and I go and go and go my name is Steven.

I can eat pizza. I can eat chicken. I can eat yogurt and rye bread with caraway seeds. It really doesn’t matter. They say, ‘No, no, don’t eat that stuff, you, that stuff isn’t for you, it’s for us, for people!’ And I eat it anyway, I eat it with gusto, I eat the food and I feel good and I live on and run and run and look at the people and hear their stupid conversations coming from their slits for mouths and terrible eyes.

I see in the windows. I see what happens. I see the calm held-together moments and also the treachery and I run and run. You tell me it matters, what they all say. I have listened and long ago I stopped. Just tell me it matters and I will listen to you and I will want to be convinced. You tell me that what is said is making a difference, that those words are worthwhile words and mean something. I see what happens. I live with people who are German. They collect steins. They are good people. Their son is dead. I see what happens.

When I run I can turn like I’m magic or something. I can turn like there wasn’t even a turn. I turn and I’m going so fast it’s like I was still going straight. Through the trees like a missile, through the trees I love to run with my claws reaching and grabbing so quickly like I’m taking everything.

Damn, I’m so in love with all of this.

I was once in a river. I was thrown in a river when I was small. You just cannot know. I was swimming, trying to know why I had been thrown in the river. I was six months old, and my eyes were burning, the water was bad.

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